• Program, n. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages; v. tr. To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward. ~ Unknown
  • Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. ~ Stan Kelly-Bootle
  • The only way for errors to occur in a program is by being put there by the author. No other mechanisms are known. Programs can't acquire bugs by sitting around with other buggy programs. ~ Harlan Mills
  • There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. ~ Alan J. Perlis
  • One man's constant is another man's variable. ~ Alan J. Perlis
  • There does not now, nor will there ever exist, a programming language in which it is the least bit hard to write bad programs. ~ Lawrence Flon
  • When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code. ~ Richard Pattis
  • You cannot teach beginners top-down programming, because they don't know which end is up. ~ C.A.R. Hoare
  • In programming, as in everything else, to be in error is to be reborn. ~ Alan J. Perlis
  • Progress is not made by early risers or hard workers, but by LAZY people, trying to find easier ways to do the same. ~ Henry Ford
  • Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray. ~ Unknown
  • It's not broken... it just doesn't work. ~ Ross Sponholtz
  • People in the computer industry use the word "user", which to them means "idiot". ~ Dave Barry
  • I have a pretty major problem with a language where one of the most common variables has the name $_ ~ Brian Hook
  • If I were chained to a bench and 'perl' was the only thing that could open the lock, I'd probably cut my hand off. ~ Gerald Penn
  • Perl is designed to give you several ways to do anything, so consider picking the most readable one. ~ Larry Wall
  • Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi. ~ Larry Wall
  • A Perl program is correct if it gets the job done before your boss fires you. ~ Larry Wall
  • The camel has evolved to be relatively self-sufficient. On the other hand, the camel has not evolved to smell good. Neither has Perl. ~ Larry Wall
  • Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use sed." Now they have two problems. ~ Jamie Zawinski
  • Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed. ~ Bob Gray
  • What you see is all you get. ~ Brian Kernighan, about C
  • C provides a programmer with more than enough rope to hang himself. C++ provides a firing squad, blindfold and last cigarette. ~ Dandelion
  • A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. ~ Bill Bryson
  • There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
Disclaimer: Quotes are collected from various web sites. Most of the cases the sources are not verified.